In the "Screwtape Letters", C.S. Lewis describes how the devil may go about confusing a soul, to prevent it from the union with God. It's like a game to him: None of these are intrinsically bad: neither our thoughts nor our inclinations or the events of our lives. But it is the confused way of thinking about them that may drive us away from God.
One may try to "outsmart" the devil by constant attention and logical examination of one's thoughts, or to override one's thoughts with words of prayer or positive affirmations (e.g. the Jesus prayer or the cognitive behavioral therapy approach in psychology). Because the devil is a fallen angel, and therefore is very intelligent, "outsmarting" him in one's thoughts may not be the best strategy. Prayer and positive affirmations may help. But there is one more way.
The devil cannot access our soul and "sit" inside us. All he is able to do is to suggest distorted ways of thinking to confuse us. So if we remain present in the center of our soul, there where God resides, no one and nothing can harm us. If we are able to always be there, in God's presence, and to act from that center trusting that God will lead us to Him, all the temptations and distortions become like plastic bottles and other garbage flowing on top of the water, while we stay on the bottom of the river. We may say: "I allow myself to drawn in God's love." This is the state of permanent prayer (St. Paul speaks of "prayer without ceasing" in one of his letters).
One may ask, how do I perform the daily tasks then? We must learn how to operate from our center, our true self. It is like driving a car. When we want to turn, we do not go to each wheel and turn it, but simply turn the wheel inside the car. We may ask God to teach us how to act in every situation in such a way that we always remain in our center. Sometimes we will get out, then we just go back as soon as we realize it.
Obsessing about the devil trying to do us harm may be just another
way of getting confused, so we can reformulate this question as follows:
How do I avoid obsessive thoughts or confused thoughts that do not
correspond to the truth and drive me into isolation and mistrust toward
other people and God? By always returning to my heart and residing there with God.
23.5.13
A Woman's Prayer
Dear God, I confess that I am not able to distinguish between my vices and mere discrepancies of my nature with the expectations that others have had of me throughout my life. In everything I do, no matter how good it is, I am aware of not fitting into some norm, breaking some standard. Help me to shed these burdens and to care only about fulfilling your will. And your will for me is that I would be happy.
Merciful Father, help me to grieve the losses that I have sustained as a woman throughout my life. Often I do not trust people to know me for who I am, but you -- I invite you to descend to the deepest recesses of my self, where I have hidden my womanhood. Teach me how to be there with you, help me to relive the pain again, but now in the union with the sufferings of your beloved Son. Help me to find safety with you, and to act from that core of my womanhood, of my humanity, always knowing the love that you have for me.
Whether or not I have sinned, and in what way, is not important. The only important thing is that you love me. Your love covers a multitude of sins.
I allow myself to be weak with you and I trust that you will find a way to bring me to your Kingdom.
Merciful Father, help me to grieve the losses that I have sustained as a woman throughout my life. Often I do not trust people to know me for who I am, but you -- I invite you to descend to the deepest recesses of my self, where I have hidden my womanhood. Teach me how to be there with you, help me to relive the pain again, but now in the union with the sufferings of your beloved Son. Help me to find safety with you, and to act from that core of my womanhood, of my humanity, always knowing the love that you have for me.
Whether or not I have sinned, and in what way, is not important. The only important thing is that you love me. Your love covers a multitude of sins.
I allow myself to be weak with you and I trust that you will find a way to bring me to your Kingdom.
22.5.13
The Witch Guilt
In the play "Vinegar Tom" by Caryl Churchill, one of the 17th century women sentenced to death for supposedly being a witch admits that she killed ten cows in her village in the preceding year and has also caused illnesses of her neighbors. After being rejected for not fitting into the norms of her contemporary society, after a long and consistent persuasion by figures of authority that she is essentially bad, the woman started to believe in her own viciousness. One can imagine that at a certain point of losing faith in her own fundamental goodness, the woman may indeed have wished misfortunes upon her neighbors and may have even done something to inflict those misfortunes. So it is the mistreatment and the rejection of the society, the endless misunderstanding and blame that drive the woman to the point where, in her own mind, she becomes a witch.
The witch guilt is a spiritual affliction of women. In today's society women are not burned on the stake. But they are expected to fit into many contradictory frames. An online marriage preparation program of the Catholic Diocese of Denver teaches that it is the wife's responsibility to uphold high spiritual standards of the family, that the man in created by God to be grounded and down to earth. The ideal of the virgin Mary imposes on the woman the impossible standard of virginity and motherhood, while the media and the dating standards expect her to be always desirable and open to give sexual pleasure. She is expected to do well at work, but not too well: one of my friends with a Ph.D. in math once confessed that she would not tell her potential boyfriends her occupation, for fear of being rejected for being "too smart". The contemporary woman is also supposed to be warm and emotional, but when she expresses her emotions, she is often treated as someone whose feelings have nothing to do with objective reality, as a weak creature prone to inadequate reactions.
The witch guilt is not easily diagnosed. A woman who is afflicted by it genuinely believes that she has done many things that are seriously wrong. As she feels guilty and focuses on her mistakes, she makes more mistakes and this way proves her own sinfulness to herself. When she speaks to other people, she is then able to give examples of her "bad" behavior to prove her "guilt".
What's wrong with being aware of one's own sinfulness? -- you may ask. Humility is possible only when one is aware of her true sins as opposed to the discrepancies between one's nature and the expectations of the church and the society. Sinful behaviors subside when a person gets in touch with her own true self and, in that way, finds a union with God. The witch guilt prevents women from finding true peace and leaves them in constant anxiety as they keep looking for their "wrongdoings".
The witch guilt is a spiritual affliction of women. In today's society women are not burned on the stake. But they are expected to fit into many contradictory frames. An online marriage preparation program of the Catholic Diocese of Denver teaches that it is the wife's responsibility to uphold high spiritual standards of the family, that the man in created by God to be grounded and down to earth. The ideal of the virgin Mary imposes on the woman the impossible standard of virginity and motherhood, while the media and the dating standards expect her to be always desirable and open to give sexual pleasure. She is expected to do well at work, but not too well: one of my friends with a Ph.D. in math once confessed that she would not tell her potential boyfriends her occupation, for fear of being rejected for being "too smart". The contemporary woman is also supposed to be warm and emotional, but when she expresses her emotions, she is often treated as someone whose feelings have nothing to do with objective reality, as a weak creature prone to inadequate reactions.
The witch guilt is not easily diagnosed. A woman who is afflicted by it genuinely believes that she has done many things that are seriously wrong. As she feels guilty and focuses on her mistakes, she makes more mistakes and this way proves her own sinfulness to herself. When she speaks to other people, she is then able to give examples of her "bad" behavior to prove her "guilt".
What's wrong with being aware of one's own sinfulness? -- you may ask. Humility is possible only when one is aware of her true sins as opposed to the discrepancies between one's nature and the expectations of the church and the society. Sinful behaviors subside when a person gets in touch with her own true self and, in that way, finds a union with God. The witch guilt prevents women from finding true peace and leaves them in constant anxiety as they keep looking for their "wrongdoings".
17.8.11
The Fundament is Water
Gospel Mt 14
During the fourth watch of the night, he came toward them walking on the sea. When the disciples saw him walking on the sea they were terrified. “It is a ghost,” they said, and they cried out in fear. At once Jesus spoke to them, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” Peter said to him in reply, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!”
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